LIFE

I'm back lol...
I really wish I had the money to do all the things I want to do, I really want to give Linda the life she should have, I want to be able to take care of my mum and dad, lindas family and our friends. Sadly my life never played out the way I thought it would. I'm not school smart , but I have always worked hard. Yet I still have no money and can't help out the people I love
I have have been called lazy and told I "just don't want to work" but thats not true !!! I'm just not willing to take the shit that most jobs throw at you. A boss should be willing to do the same shit as he/she expects that the staff will do. As a former boss I never asked anyone to do something that I would'nt do myself . I now work for someone that has no respect for the staff and no understanding of what they go through on a day to day basis. Most of the people I work with are awsome at the jobs they do, but never get the credit.

As I said in my last blog I really do love my life, I'm happy and with exeption of money and a job I like I have everything I want..I started "blogging" as a way to get some of the crap that is going through my head all the time out. I'm sure no one gives a shit about what I write, but it helps me. I may seem negative all the time and thats not how I want to come across. I am just so sick of all the crap. I know I'm not perfect and have never claimed to be...Yeah I smoke and drink too much I get bitchy, but thats who I am.

I'm a control freak, if I can't be in conrtrol I really don't know how to deal with shit....Right now it just feels like I'v lost control over everthing :( work, money, driving and that makes me feel useless. Then there is all this medical crap, not going to get any answers about that for another 6 weeks, YES I know poor D....it sounds like it's all about me and my shit. I know it effects everyone in my life, but I honestly don't know how to deal with crap.

I have 2 awesome familys that have been there for us and supported us, so I am really lucky. We always have food and Maui never goes without her C..lol I'm sure there not is many people that can say the same. and sitting here writing this has made me feel selfish.WOW when I sit and think about it I have an awesome life ( it just takes me awile to realise stuff). 

D out :)
ps...I will be more possative in the future